College

I found out where I'm living and who I'm living with next year! I got the dorm I wanted, and my roommate seems really cool and funny. I'm pretty sure it's going to be awesome.

Unluckily, the dorm is brand new and not even finished yet! So there's not enough info online for me to sufficiently obsess over what it looks like. There's only one of those architect pictures online. They don't even have it listed as a dorm yet on the resed site.

I went back on the site cause it was like "confirm your dorm" or something, and the place where it said where I was living is gone. So now I'm kind of worried about whether something is going to change about it...

IN other news, I think Sean Kingston sponsored the third season of the Hills because they mentioned him like 3 times so far, and there's a Sean Kingston behind Audrina's desk.

Summer So Far

Well, I started working at a certain sandwich shop about a month ago and that's been my whole summer. I went to one party at this burrito restaurant that was super lame because it was just a bunch of hipsters drinking pbr and listening to dubstep. I may be going to another one on Saturday, dubstep, hipsters and beer included, but this time dancing is involved.

Working is as fun as whoever else is working with me. Everyone is pretty cool and older than me and Jillian. The boss is kind of psycho sometimes and I think I almost had a panic attack and threw up the other day because I was so nervous he was going to get mad at me for making the sweet tea wrong or something. ANYWAY, pretty much what happens is that no customers come in and we joke around the whole time and eat stale cookies and go get ice cream.

no one else has a car except for me and jillian, so we are basically the moms. I drove the boss to the laundromat and to his house the other day. I also put a bandaid on Jamie and got Liam a milkshake. I don't mind doing these things; I think it's funny.

Besides working, I've been obsessively watching the Hills on Netflix. GOD. I LOVE this show. It's so mind numbingly boring/awesome. I find it fascinating. You can totally tell when they refilm stuff and/or when they edit things.

I went swimming on Saturday for the first time in 2 years or so, and that was fun. I never feel like going swimming, especially at my "community pool" full of soccer moms and little brats.

super fly

what if everyone at college is cooler than me?

what if no one likes me? what if i "go back into my shell." (as shannon calls it)

what if everyone has more money than me and i feel like i don't have many life experiences?

what i mean is that everyone will be "well traveled" and shit and i'll be like, tennessee, yall!

god, i feel like just right right now i'm understanding how stuff works in life.

I have two exams that I'm not prepared for tomorrow. I only have to take them because I have less than a B for this semester, so that means that I'm already on the edge. I just hope that I don't get my admissions rescinded. I don't think I have a chance of that happening, since all my grades aren't going down, just these two and i'm not even into them. like, it's not like i'm putting calculus and biology down as my main interests. I'm just really worried about that, because right now I know I'm not prepared and am hoping the exams aren't going to be as hard as I think they are. I have heard that Biology is not that hard.

Who cares?

My Blog, My Blog, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

Literally NOTHING has been going on for me to write anything about. I mean, Mr. Wells liked my chapel talk and so did Mrs. Pierce, so that's a relief. Mrs. Pierce even said that it was "adorable"-- fancy that!

The most horrible of horrible things that could have happened this weekend did: I have a cold. Sore throat, et al. (is that the proper way to use et. al? i wish it was if it isn't). It's mostly sore throat and sniffles. No runny nose, no need to blow my nose. It's just the damn sore throat that's got me down. It feels a little better than yesterday, and perhaps the fact that I keep waking up in the middle of the night is the main reason for my "head cold" feeling. I just hope it doesn't end up getting worse since I have to give a speech in front of the ENTIRE SCHOOL tomorrow!! out of everything that could happen, this is probably the worst thing.

I also have that big audition today, I probably won't get a scholarship. I just wish that I had done Youth Orchestra because then I would know more people and probably know more people at this audition. But maybe it's best that I come in mysteriously and no one knows who I am. I know that I'll KNOW people but it's the people I haven't seen in a long time and it's always SO SO SO awkward because it's like, "do you remember me?" except I obviously don't say that out loud, I just sit in the back while everyone else has fun!! I COULD make myself talk to everyone, even though i'd feel awkward, and it probably would end up not being awkward. WHATEVER. this is only going to be 2-3 hours out of my WHOLE LIFE and then I can go home.

SKIPPED

I skipped the past two days by accident. Grades are out but I have not looked at them, not planning to.

YuCK

I just sat around all day watching movies and tv shows. I should have done something, but I didn't. School starts again tomorrow, which just puts me closer to everything I'm stressing out about.

JAAAAAAAAAL

I'm hoping my chapel talk will be good and not lame. I'm having some trouble rewriting things in the best way, finding the right words and the right word order. I think it's going to be good. Just need some secondary opinions before I read it in front of teachers, then read it in front of the whole school (yikes). My music is going well too (for my audition).

I just feel like no one thinks I take playing cello or orchestra that seriously, though I do. I think some people have let on to mrs. baxter that they think I don't care about that, and I really don't appreciate it because it's hindered the opportunities I could have had. But whatever. It's only one month until the concert and then who cares, really.

Today

Today was very fun. I actually have a good idea for my chapel talk that I'm interested in writing about and it's going along swimmingly.

I had fun at Curtis's today, playing badminton and settlers of catan. Ha! I always forget how to play that game. Also, I never know the rules of anything sports related, but I hit pretty well in badminton.

We were talking about elementary school because Curtis, Katie and I all went to Nolan. So weird. I don't know, I just feel like because I haven't been close friends with anyone from elementary school since elementary school I kind of missed out on the whole "growing up together" thing. Like I can reminisce but still...

Plus going to college is so weird. Today we were talking about Halloween and Matt was like, "I think I'm going to just buy candy this year." And I was like "wait. we're going to be in college so you probably won't even do that..." It's weird to think about, and to keep forgetting about. It doesn't seem real that everyone will be far away soon. Even this summer I'm sure it'll be hard to get together with everyone working. HOPEFULLY I'LL HAVE A JOB SOON.

I'm very much excited about college, but i don't want to get so excited that I forget about spending time with my friends while there isn't a lot of time left. So weird to say goodbye to everybody.

Im glad I don't have to do it yet, but it's coming up. This year has gone by faster than any other. Even third quarter being the longest in history, this month is going to go by so fast with chapel talk, audition, may day, prom (well, technically in may...)... then it IS may... AP Exams, Senior exams (I'll undoubtedly have to take at least math), last day of school, class day, graduation... then hopefully working all summer. Need to get on that. NEED MONEY FOR SCHOOL!!!!!!!

SUPPPPPP

IN order to make sure that this blog is legit, ie 30 entries from diz month i'm going to have to do practice entries in the morning and then real entries in the afternoon.

so here's apractice entry .

i think i FINALLY thought up a good idea for my chapel talk.

HOPEFULLY I CAN WRITE IT AND IT'LL BE GOOD.

HERE IT IS!

what you've all been waiting for!!!!!

mah new blawg.

this blog is for me to write in, as the famed "Lemme Blog Dat" is for reblogging cool stuff and making jokes.

this is also for making jokes, but more serious jokes.

Obviously.

All posts below are from my secret interent vault that cannot be found! NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY!

-Lucy

BLOGGING EVERYDAY

I am going to blog everyday this month.

maybe.

So, today, not much went on. I did not work on my chapel talk. Bad news. I still don’t have the best idea I could have yet, I wish I would get a spark of inspiration to just write it.

I haven’t talked to anyone in a really long time, feelin’ kind of isolated.

Things that are worrying me right now:

1) Chapel Talk

2)Chapel Talk Invitations

3) May Day stuff

4) Art HIstory Test

5) Audition

6) memorizing for audition

7) meeting tomorrow

8) getting bad grades

9) getting a job!!!

many more things are keeping me awake at night. I am constantly worried. I think after these two weeks everything will be ok. After my chapel talk I’ll feel a lot better and I will only really have to worry about getting a job, which won’t be that hard. I just need to apply more places, I guess. I mean, I think I definitely will get a job.

I’m also getting worried about college. What if no one likes me? What if I don’t make any friends at all? What if everyone is way smarter than me and I can’t keep up? What if everyone is cooler than me!?

So BORING

Maybe it’s just me picturing the boring white layout of this blog in my mind, but this is super boring. especially because no one reads it so i feel kind of stupid all the time for writing…I was just about to post in the group blog but i forgot the username and password. plus no one’s into it anymore.

man, this blog is just sad, sad, sad news.

Anyway,

HOW CAN I GO ON???????? I wish my life was more interesting.

Well, I picked out what food i’m going to have for my chapel talk.

I’ve been practicing a lot.

I think I’ve written about five or six potential chapel talks so far, all without endings or coherency.

YUCK

I haven’t felt well for the past few days, but I’m finally feeling ok. I think it was going to a sleepover that threw off my sleeping schedule and made me really tired.

I’ve had to start writing my chapel talk, and it’s so weird. I’ve written three starts to three different ones, but I don’t know if they’re any good. I don’t want it to be typical or too preachy, but it probably will be. I think I may just read my college essay if I can’t think of anything. I think I’m too worried about what people will think to do anything daring or creative. Maybe I should try my hardest to do that, though, because so many people do the same one. OH well.

I also have that crazy audition the day before, which I’m really worried about. I keep panicking that my cello will go crazily out of tune, or that everyone will be better than me… Oh well, it doesn’t really matter. I only know of two people who’d be auditioning, and others I don’t know of… hopefully there won’t be that many people because I have to stay the whole time.

I’m just really worried about everything. May Day flowers, dress, chapel talk lunch, invitations, audition music, trying to find the piano music and setting up a time to meet with the accompanist. Hoping the accompanist doesn’t think I’m terrible at playing. Actually practicing instead of watching tv. Actually, today I have been working on my chapel talk and reading and only watching a little TV. And, my music isn’t that difficult, I almost have it memorized.

I want this blog to be more exciting, maybe with more practice it will be!

I Can't Remember

I can’t remember the dream I had last night.

Today I felt very sad all day. I went out to lunch at greenlife and it made me feel a lot better. I ate indian food, sparkling apple cider, raspberry granola gelato, yerba mate for the ride back to school. I went with Anna and Amber and it was a lot of fun. There were a bunch of GPS people and a definite god squad contingent but we ignored them (and they, of course, ignored us).

In assembly a (literal romantic married) couple of musicians played for us. At first I thought it was going to be lame because it was a young life thing, but it was actually really beautiful. They were folky and though some of their songs had religious meaning, it wasn’t blatantly obvious and the lyrics were very sweet and nice. I would have liked to buy their cd, but a lack of money prevented me. They seemed like really nice people too.

I didn’t work out after school and I should have; I would have felt a lot better when I came home. I had to go to evil walmart to get pens, pencils, a folder. I felt very sad in there and got the urge to buy a 64 pack of crayons, but I didn’t indulge. It did help to find the box and open up the top so I could look inside. There’s something about seeing so many colors together that’s so comforting. There’s so many possibilities. They had a display of bubbles in the toy section and that was also very nice. I love blowing bubbles and considered buying some for katy and colleen for their birthday party on saturday, but I think I want to get them something from Leo’s. I may go back, though, because I can’t really spend a lot of money. I hate that I’d have to go to walmart, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

I don’t know when I’ll share this blog with anyone, maybe soon. Maybe people are already reading it and I just don’t know that they’ve found it. I don’t really care, I just like to type and send it away

WORRYING

I have been worrying so much lately. First of all, I have my chapel talk to worry about. I have to get invitations, decide where my lunch will be, invite people, but most importantly, write it. I’m not even that worried about writing it; I just want to get everything about it organized before I even begin to write. I don’t really know what it’s going to be about, but I have an idea.

I’m also worrying about May Day, which is silly. It shouldn’t be a big deal and I told myself I wasn’t going to make it into a big deal. But I’m worrying about flowers, hair, makeup. I called three florists on Friday and they all said that a bouquet would cost $65-75 and for a day I was willing to pay that much for some reason. But then I realized that I never even notice the flowers on May Day. I should just go to Bilo or something, because it’s not that important.

This whole thing really isn’t that important. In World Religions we’re learning about Taoism and “the 10,000 things versus heaven/earth” idea and it makes me think about how may day, chapel talk… it’s all a “10,000 things” thing. I’m only worrying about how other people will see what I’m doing and what they’ll think. I only considered buying expensive flowers because I wanted to do things “right,” which would mean trying to fit in with everyone else. It’s very God Squad of me. I’m going to the “right” place to get my dress, I should go to the “right” place to get my flowers, get the “right” chapel talk invitations, have the “right” chapel talk lunch. But none of it really matters. none of it matters. none of it matters. none of it matters.

Whatever my flowers and invitations look like, it won’t matter. It’s just a thing I’m using to show off, really. It doesn’t reflect what I’ll be like at May Day, or what I’ll say at my chapel talk. I shouldn’t want to be like everyone else. Why should I do things the “right” way, anyway??